Sand in the Shorts: How you know your dog doesn't like a certain type of dog food...

By James Phieffer

We ran out of the (somewhat) expensive dog food for Holly a day ago, so I was feeding her the cheap store brand stuff. That is, I'd put it in her bowl, and she'd nibble a bit - but this morning, I found a bit of the good stuff and put it into her bowl, and then topped up the bowl with cheap stuff. She proceeded to dig out the good stuff, leaving the cheap stuff behind.

Later on, it hit me.

This dog, which was turning up her nose at the cheap dog food, has to be kept out of the bathroom so she doesn't eat cat poop out of Sammie's litter box.

So, apparently, cat crap tastes better than the cheap dog food.

Holly back in February 2011

Goldstein: 15 stupid election cliches to ban | Columnists | Opinion | Toronto Sun

by Lorrie Goldstein - from the Toronto Sun

Now that our 41st federal election campaign is — thankfully — over, I think we can all agree on some things we can do without in number 42.

Specifically, the following political/media cliches, that will no longer be acceptable in any future campaign.

(1) “The only poll that counts is on election day” — Reason: Because if the only poll that counts is on election day, what the @#*&?! were you doing polling every day of the campaign before election day?

(2) “This was a historic election” — Reason: Because every election is “historic” once it’s over, you idiot!

(3) “We will pay for our programs with higher corporate taxes” — Reason: Because what this means is: “You will pay for our programs with higher retail prices.”

(4) “Vote-rich Ontario” — Reason: For gawd’s sake, just say what you mean, which is that Ontario has lots of voters, not that it’s vote-rich.

(5) “Jack Layton’s surging NDP” — Reason: Because this sounds vaguely sexual and is not the kind of grief Layton needs right now, given recent events.

(6) “A wet Kleenex” — Reason: Ditto, see above.

(7) “Michael Ignateiff, he didn’t come back for you” — Reason: OK, Conservatives, we get it, we get it. Our ears are bleeding and we have a splitting headache — STOP IT! RIGHT NOW!

(8) “Stephen Harper’s hidden agenda” — Reason: Because if you haven’t found it by now, you’re never going to find it. Read more

Goldstein: 15 stupid election cliches to ban | Columnists | Opinion | Toronto Sun

New Poll in Prince Edward - Hastings

In a poll of the residents of my home, the results indicate the Conservatives have 100% support.  Kathy and I both said we would vote Tory.  Sammie the cat refused to make a choice, but indicated her main issue was pure self-interest.  Since the Bloc Quebecois isn't running anyone in her riding, she couldn't relate to any candidate.


Holly the pup's response was "Play?!".

A Coward (But NOT a Complete Idiot) Speaks (Caution: Attempted Humour Zone)

Yes, I admit it.  I almost endorsed some candidates Wednesday.  Then my brain returned from whatever alternate dimension it had been exploring and hit me upside the head with a two-by-four.  There are only two good reasons for endorsing someone else when in my position:

1. Not being in my position.
2. Sudden, severe brain trauma.^
3. A large amount of cash in an unmarked envelope*

These don't apply for the following reasons:

1. I am in my position.
2. No brain trauma recently.^
3. No cash*

So, don't expect any endorsements coming from this candidate until after the election.  I will then endorse the winners (hopefully including myself, of course).

* - do you REALLY think I was serious here?  Come on... Speaking of serious brain trauma^...
^ - no disrespect meant to the serious matter of brain injuries - only trying to use humour aimed at those of us who only wish we had a brain to be traumatized.